Copywriting

A client is selling shit. He contacts the agency. He briefs the Account exec on why he thinks his shit is good. "Our shit contains proteins and that's our USP" he says. "We want an ad". After rounds and rounds this brief reaches the copywriter. The copywriter's job is to make sure that anything written on the ad says only good about the product, which is in this case, shit. Where the client said it contains proteins, the copywriter writes options after options he thinks would talk about the product in one line.
Eg :
The best shit ever!
Presenting all new!! Healthy Shit!
And now, for the first time in India, Shit with proteins!

Or sometimes we have this strange habit of putting 2 words together and coining a whole new word, just to show we're cool.
Eg: Shitein. Just what the doctor ordered.

Also, out of frustration and lack of sleep and being mental retards at times, we write something that has got nothing to do with anything.

Eg: Shitein. As easy as that!

Then comes the body copy. This is the part where we bullshit hours on end about the product even though we cant stand the sight of it, or may have personally not used it at all. Like for tampons or women's jewellery, more than 50% of the time, the copywriter is a guy. Yet we creatures, think about how it would be for a woman and talk about being uncomfortable, looking beautiful with a gold pendant and of how beautiful a feeling it is to feel treated like a woman.

We may sometimes also have to deal with hard work. Like Proof reading. Checking for spelling errors, consistency, punctuations etc before an artwork goes for print. Here again millions of rupees, the likes of which we've never even seen till date, could be resting on our shoulders. Like for example: A Hospital ad. says "for better rates call now". How humane would it be that while reading for a final check for errors, we missed the part where the call was miss spelt as fall. And now it reads, for better rates, fall now! But nobody understands. We will be tortured for our mistake, maybe even cut in salaries. Such are the hardships a copywriter goes through. Yet, we come back everyday. The work is fun. Something new everyday. A whole new dimension to bullshiting. Shits Sells. (sigh)

TSU -The sentimental upliftment

Ever tried asking a girl out and she says "Dont worry, you'll get someone much better than me." ?
Yeah yeah, shrug.. Its happened to you, you and YOU! Let me just ease things a little here.. me too.

But then sooner or later I get over it. and now i look at it, shes going out with someone else, and i begin to smirk.

~Flashback~ "You'll get someone better than me" (Hereafter refered to as TSU - The sentimental Uplift)

and she decided to fall in love with that guy.. why? Obviosly because he's of the lower breed.
I deserve someone much better than her.(Duhhhh!!!!!!)

Which is why i soo love girls.. they totally know what a guy deserves. Which is evident from the
part wherein right after they give you the TSU, they go right ahead and do the ultimate sacrifice.
They succumb to the low-born cheap ass who is deemed to deserve no better.

How you remain selfless in an act akin to i dunno what, ill never know.

Yeah im wicked.